There is an adorable Greek bakery-cafe across from both my apartment and the [YMCA] steam room. Yesterday, I sauntered over to get my $3 sandwich that I have grown to love so much.
I sit down, organize my things and as I put a text book to my right, nearing me from behind is a very interesting looking woman. She has giant, uncombed frizzy hair and her outfit leads one to believe that she was playing bohemian princess in 1967 at age four and hasn't changed clothes since. They were just that dirty and that pink and purple-y.
She assumes I have put my book beside me to discourage her from sitting there. I know this, because as I put the book down she says, "Oh! Now we're really talking!"
I don't really care if she wants to sit beside me; I just have a lot of books. So I apologize and offer her a seat next to me.
She shuffles over, humming and screeching (I can't make the noise, there simply isn't an
onomatopoeia to describe it) and starts to pull out some things from her bag.
First, she pulls out two paintings of kindergarden-style butterflies on purple and pink construction paper.
Next, a terribly scratched Best of Van Morrisson cd.
Between us rests my beautiful swiss cheese, tomato and lettuce of which there is such abundance that it it struggles to fit neatly inside the fresh baguette. The woman hums and screeches, pointing at my sandwhich. Her fingers are filthy.
I think she is just pointing at it because, you know, she's an artist and a Van fan, so maybe she likes to point.
No.
She takes one half of my sandwich.
Shocked and suprised, I quickly take it from her and say "Nothat'smine!"
"Just a bite?" She says quickly.
"No," I reply.
"Cigarette?" She asks.
"No," I reply.
Bitch almost stole my sandwich.
The guy on the other side of her is less tolerant. He asks her to leave because she is bothering him. Screeching and humming, she packs up her Van and her butterflies and shuffles away.
I Am Me
- Judicious Jacq
- I am writing a blog because I can. I am a total babe with a love for cilantro, coming-of-age dramas and leather. I tried to learn Russian because I think being multi-lingual is sex. I am currently living as a hot commodity in Bangkok.
3 comments:
Ah, I love that you had quick enough reflexes to snatch it back. Wait, so this woman regularly hangs out in this restaurant to nonchalantly steal other people's sandwiches? I'm surprised she didn't offer you one of her drawing in exchange for a bite...or her Van cd.
She SO should have given me a painting in exchange! I may have made the trade, just maybe.
Still, I mean, my DAD likes Van Morrisson.
Kim's Hip Jacq! He dates artists and lounges at the Drake...or should I say 'used to' until he realized that living on a boat is completely exciting. Maybe your dad is onto something....maybe?
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