When I grow up I wanna be...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Still too good for my former Euro Trash employers...

I quit my job on Sunday. Yep, no more corporate suits, nose-jobbed trophy wives, under-age dealer groupies (and their dealers, of course), shitty 'house' DJs, Quebecois celebrities, stripey-shirted douche bags, Arabian oil lords, seedy-yet-entertaining strip-club owners, or ignorant and rich little princesses who ask for no dressing (instead, salt and lemons) on their garden salads.

Well, at least for four months. Fear not, loyal readers, I will be a bar star once again and live to tell the many humorous tales.

So I asked my boss why I wasn't awarded the schedule I deserve. Why, oh why, may I not be the one privileged enough to serve vodka-Red-Bulls at a high volume to unworthy yet cash-bearing patrons?

"Well, you're not really enthusiastic enough. Sometimes you don't look like you're happy to be here." (this is code for: "You don't party here on your days off with us, and you don't grab our asses as much as we grab yours, and well, that is what enthusiasm means to us.")


Working for these boys isn't a job; it's a lifestyle.


Fuck that shit. I've got higher aspirations, like being a barmaid at some other shitty, $9 Heineken bar. But in the mean time, allow me to celebrate with the money I will no longer be earning! YAY!!!!!

You can send donations (food stamps, cash, drugs, clothing, non-perishables) to my unemployed ass at my mom's house (leave a comment and I'll send you her address).

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I saw this blog spot on 'Miss Ames' facebook as an update went to it and I now check it more often than lastnightsparty, ebay and my own site combined. You win!

Judicious Jacq said...

I am honoured to have your readership!

Also: FUCK lastnightsparty. I'd rather just go directly to www.americanapparel.net, and then get the hard stuff myself instead of having to click through that hellish neon puppetry that poses as the New Douche Raver issue of VICE.
But then again, if I'm in one of the pictues it's a totally different story.

Anonymous said...

It is pretty tired/how many pictures of Chromeo, Justice and Jeremy Scott can one person take (Cory Kennedy also deserves honorable mention here). Hope to see a blog update soon,
Andrew