FINLAND IS THE ANSWER

I am in Paradise.
Everyone is beautiful, trendy, athletic and they speak in a language I do not understand so it makes it a lot harder to judge those who are stupid based on the content of their conversation.
In Finland, no one locks up their bikes.
In Finland, the only one who is 'poor' is I.
In Finland, there is an H&M to every street corner.
In Finland, the air is clear and the sun shines through the night.
In Finland, all is so charming that even the smell of fish kind of turns me on. That, or I am suffering from a lack of intimacy. Blondes are no exotic breed here, you see. I guess I better haul my ass over to Italy soon if I want to draw any kind of male attention.