Lessons learned this summer:
1. I am awesome.
2. Russians are inhospitable but their cops are smarmily sexy.
3. My teeth are so white that Europeans find it distracting.
4. Mallory Bey can speak French?
5. Hitchhiking is cost-effective, fun and stupid.
6. Serbian drugs take five hours to kick in.
7. Don't get into cars with Mystics.
8. I like Dubstep. A lot.
9. I like medical students. Aspiring dentists are even sexier than Russian Militsia.
10. I am awesome.
Showing posts with label Teeth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teeth. Show all posts
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
FINLAND IS THE ANSWER
I am in Paradise.
Everyone is beautiful, trendy, athletic and they speak in a language I do not understand so it makes it a lot harder to judge those who are stupid based on the content of their conversation.
In Finland, no one locks up their bikes.
In Finland, the only one who is 'poor' is I.
In Finland, there is an H&M to every street corner.
In Finland, the air is clear and the sun shines through the night.
In Finland, all is so charming that even the smell of fish kind of turns me on. That, or I am suffering from a lack of intimacy. Blondes are no exotic breed here, you see. I guess I better haul my ass over to Italy soon if I want to draw any kind of male attention.
Everyone is beautiful, trendy, athletic and they speak in a language I do not understand so it makes it a lot harder to judge those who are stupid based on the content of their conversation.
In Finland, no one locks up their bikes.
In Finland, the only one who is 'poor' is I.
In Finland, there is an H&M to every street corner.
In Finland, the air is clear and the sun shines through the night.
In Finland, all is so charming that even the smell of fish kind of turns me on. That, or I am suffering from a lack of intimacy. Blondes are no exotic breed here, you see. I guess I better haul my ass over to Italy soon if I want to draw any kind of male attention.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Thanks, Danny!
For the first time in what feels like years, I am wearing my retainer. My pearly whites are in great danger of returning to their pre-orthodontic state and I, along with my toothpaste commercial smile will have none of this.
So, in my mouth is my retainer, in its wiry, purple and Canadian-flagged glory. (In Grade 8, when I got my braces off, I had the choice of what colour retainer I wanted, and with which image imprinted on the plastic part, selected from Windows '98 Clipart. Appropriately, my selection was a nice shade of eggplant with a Canadian flag.)
I wish to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend Danny for reminding me that wearing your retainer is important and one must not give up on the lisp-inducing little thang.
DANNY: "You have such a great overbite for making silly faces, Jacq."
My you-hate-me-because-my-teeth-are-nicer-than-yours confidence has since been deflated.
So, in my mouth is my retainer, in its wiry, purple and Canadian-flagged glory. (In Grade 8, when I got my braces off, I had the choice of what colour retainer I wanted, and with which image imprinted on the plastic part, selected from Windows '98 Clipart. Appropriately, my selection was a nice shade of eggplant with a Canadian flag.)
I wish to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend Danny for reminding me that wearing your retainer is important and one must not give up on the lisp-inducing little thang.
DANNY: "You have such a great overbite for making silly faces, Jacq."
My you-hate-me-because-my-teeth-are-nicer-than-yours confidence has since been deflated.
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